Do you want to be happy? Pay the toll of the car behind you

This is one of the ways we can achieve happiness. There are others – they are compiled here

Want to be happy? Here are 5 habits to follow

Andrea Kane, CNN

Author’s note Season 10 of the Chasing Life with Sanjay Gupta podcast explores the science of happiness – Listen to episodes here

If you look around at your friends and family — and even yourself — it’s clear that some people see the glass as half full, while others see it as half empty.

“Some people are just happier than others. You don’t have to work hard for it, do you? They are,” social psychologist Sonja Lyubomirski recently told CNN Chief Medical Correspondent Sanjay Gupta. On the Chasing Life Podcast. “They’re like naturally lean people, and they don’t have to work hard for it.”

Lyupomirski, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, has studied happiness for more than 35 years. He also wrote a few books on the subject, including “The Way to Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want”.

Being an abstract and subjective concept, happiness is a difficult topic to study: emotional states are difficult to define, let alone measure objectively.

“Happiness has two components,” Lyubomirski says, noting that you need to have both to be a happy person. “The experience of positive emotions – therefore, people who are happy are more likely to experience emotions such as happiness, excitement, peace, interest, affection, pride. The second component is the feeling that life is good and that you are satisfied with life.

“How often do you feel happy, calm, and curious?” Researchers measure these components by asking questions like and “To what extent are you satisfied with your life?”. Certain aspects of happiness can be measured by examining brain structures and facial features, and by analyzing voice. According to Lyubomirsky, instead of being a reference point for happiness, individuals have a finite range.

A big question for researchers (and many of us) is whether the glass is half full or half empty: Can we change the range of values ​​to become a happier person? Lyubomirski says this is possible to a certain extent.

“You can’t change genetics,” he says. Trying to change the circumstances of our lives — like finding a new job or starting a relationship — only gets us so far (assuming we’re not in a terrible situation).

“So what do we have? We can change the way we think and the way we behave”, he says. “We can change our habits. We can develop new habits.

She and other researchers have noticed that happy people have certain habits.

What habits can you adopt to increase your level of happiness? Lyupomirsky has these five tips.

1. Flow

Let yourself absorb what you are doing.

“If you’re not paying attention to what you’re doing, you’re in a state called ‘flow,’ which is associated with happiness,” Lyubomirski says via email.

You don’t need to compete in a lot of tennis or climb Mount Everest, but try something simple like completing a team project at the office, playing with your kids, or enjoying a hobby with your partner.

2. Practice random acts of kindness

Take some time throughout your day to do nice things for others.

“Being kind to others has a cascade of positive results. It makes us feel generous and capable, grateful for our own circumstances, and gives us a greater sense of interconnectedness with the world,” says Lyubomirski.

“It makes other people happy and leads them to like you more and give back to them in their time of need, which helps boost your self-esteem. Thus, performing acts of kindness activates what positive psychologists call an ‘upward spiral.’

These acts of kindness can be directed toward friends or strangers; They can be direct or anonymous, spontaneous or planned, he adds.

Don’t know what to do? Lyubomirski has a few suggestions: Pay the car behind you, paint your neighbor’s house, pick up trash in your neighborhood, teach an illiterate senior to read, save an animal, visit an old people’s home, help a stranger deliver a package. A job (even if it’s not your turn), write a thank-you card to your postman or the council worker who collects the rubbish – or smile at someone who’s sad.

3. Cultivate your relationships

When it comes to your level of happiness, personal relationships have more of an impact than money, your job title, or your health.

“Spending more quality time with your partner, spouse, or children, or reconnecting with old friends are surefire ways to increase your own and other people’s average happiness levels,” says Lyupomirski. “This week, choose a relationship that needs strengthening and invest time and energy in its healing, nurturing, stability, and happiness.”

This small investment can have a big impact.

4. Express gratitude

Counting your blessings is a great way to count the positive things in your life.

“One way to do this is to take a moment during the week to consider three to five things that you are currently grateful for,” Lyupomirski says. “You can do this by writing in a journal or sharing your grateful thoughts with someone close to you as you go to bed or work at night.”

Another idea is to call or write a thank you note to an important person in your life whom you have never properly thanked. “Do it regularly, but not too often, and exercise can lose its freshness and meaning.”

Expressing gratitude encourages us to appreciate our good fortune and helps us get through the rest of the day or week, Lyubomirski says.

5. Celebrate the good news

Sharing successes and achievements with others is linked to greater happiness and well-being.

“So, if you, your spouse, your relative, or your best friend wins something, congratulate them and celebrate,” Lyupomirski says. “Try to make the most of the opportunity. Broadcasting and rejoicing leads us to enjoy and absorb the present moment and cultivate connections with others.

According to Lyubomirsky, this energy should extend to ourselves: “Don’t shy away from pride – pat yourself on the back, tell yourself how hard you worked for this moment, and imagine how impressed people will be.”

Then crack open that bottle of champagne or cider.

We hope these five tips help you raise your happiness levels. Listen to the full episode Here. And join us next week Chasing Life PodcastAs we explore what it means to live a good life.